Tags
Clergy, Jesus, Ministry, Reinvention, Suicide, Suicide Prevention
“a smoldering wick he will not snuff out…”
Matthew 12:20
One of the findings that shocked Bill Hybels when he began listening to his members was how many “smoldering wicks” there were among them. Many indicated they were struggling with their relationship to God and one another. A significant number felt the church was letting them down.
The core assumption of churches of all theological stripes is that the answer lies is greater involvement in church programs. Contrary to that assumption, getting people more involved in churches, even large exciting churches, is not the fix for smoldering wicks. Summarizing the Willow Creek Reveal findings, Greg Hawkins wrote “Increasing levels of participation in… activities does NOT predict whether someone’s becoming more of a disciple of Christ. It does NOT predict whether they love God more or they love people more.”
Doing more of what has not worked to date will not work better in the future. Either by sheer neglect or errant assumptions, smoldering wicks continue to smolder or go out altogether. Research on suicides among church members reveals that no theological perspective ranging from liberal to conservative is more protective than another in preventing suicide.
When Matthew characterizes the ministry of Jesus, he references Isaiah 42, including the promise that God will not snuff out the dim light of the benighted soul. How does the church, the Body of Christ, give meaningful expression to that redemptive promise? Here are my ideas.
First, we need to normalize the “smoldering wick” experience. We often give the impression that spiritual and emotional development is a linear process when in fact it is often crisis driven and marked by seasons of regression and growth. At the same time, we need to give voice to those who have found a rekindled zest for faith and living so that we don’t simply become a community of open wounds.
Second, we need to help people anticipate those portions of their journeys that are particularly risky and opportune. We know, for example, that adolescence, young adulthood, mid-life (especially for women), and retirement are several of those potential crisis/growing points. We need more than “programs”. We need maps and resources.
Third, we need to address “smoldering wicks” as a regular aspect of our life and work, preaching, prayer, pastoral care, teaching, liturgy, training, outreach, and social justice.
Fourth, we need to develop organizational cultures where we normalize asking for and receiving help. For a number of years, I taught a graduate class of social work students at Ohio State. My topic was the global AIDS crisis, but I often worked into the lesson a simple exercise where I had them practice saying to one another, “I need help. Could I ask you for a few minutes to help me with something?” It seemed that for most it was the first time they had ever said those words to another person. Church members need similar training.
Fifth, we need to provide the opportunities and resources for “smoldering wicks” to reinvent their lives. Often people adopt a perspective in which they trap themselves. The prison bars may largely be internal, but faith communities can support their liberation by communicating that it is more important that the light be restored to their lives than sustaining a lifestyle that is familiar, but stagnating or suffocating.
Finally, we need to draw upon the emerging research of neuroscience which is supporting the value of meditative practice and “renewal of the mind” as avenues of transformation.
All these steps can easily be incorporated into a Biblical/theological framework that is both faithful and fresh. However, the faith community will look quite different from what most people are currently experiencing. I have seen glimpses from the mountain. I know it is possible.